Saturday, December 1, 2007

HeRe wE Go AgAin!!

If you are tired of the Jordan drama do not Proceed any further...

Things with Jordan had been going just fine.. He continued to call me or text message me every morning to chat for a bit. Lately he had even been saying the "L" word almost every time we got off the phone (which I rarely repeated back because I didn't feel it was appropriate.) He has been very busy with work and school as usual and just like I have come to expect I had slipped to the bottom of the priority list. So as long as I was fine with a daily update of the goings on in Jordan's life and expected nothing more then things were just great...
Well earlier this week I had mentioned that I wanted to go to the Festival of the Trees cuz Shelly's dad had a tree in him memory there. Jordan also expressed his desire to go and I assured him that I could go with someone else so it was no big deal but he insisted that we make a date of it. Thursday he decided that we could go to dinner at Rodizio's and then head to the Festival. I hate to admit this but I was really excited because they were two things that I'd wanted to do and I do enjoy spending time with Jordan cuz I feel so comfortable (after 15 months you should!) Well Thursday night I had a dream that things didn't work out with going so I called Jor on Friday morning to see if everything was going to work out?!? to which he replied that he wasn't sure because there was this thing that he didn't know if he would have to do or not... Well I was not about to sit around and wait for Jordan to decided if we were going or not so I quickly called him back and told him that something had come up and I would not be able to go. I only heard from him later that day and continued to pretend that something had come up.. I tried to call him later but he didn't answer so I sent him a text message and he told me he was on a date... OUCH!!! I know I am the one that originally broke the plans but that doesn't mean he had to go and get himself a date.. Well I asked him if he could break away for a few minutes to talk but he said he couldn't so I asked him if he would do me a favor... I told him that first, I wanted him to have a great time on his date and then i wrote this "second, I need you to let me go.. for good. No more phone calls, no more text messages, no more telling me you love me when I know you don't. I hurt so much from all of this I can't do it anymore and we both need to move on."
Well I didn't get a response last night and as of 11:00 p.m. I still haven't heard anything from him. I'd be lying if I said that I don't feel a little sad but relief is what I feel the most right now. I never wanted it to end in a text message but I know that every conversation I have started with Jordan like that has always ended in us still staying in contact and I know that I can't do that anymore!! A part of me will always love Jordan and the good times we shared but everyone know this is for the better... Deep down even Jordan knows this or he will figure it out some day :)