Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Sentimentos

For those of you non-portuguese speakers out there the title for this blog is "Feelings". I know I know sounds kinda cheesy but I just want to take a little bit of time and let everyone know who my life is going, what I have been up to, and how I feel about all of these things.
First of all I must tell all of you that the six month sebatical from dating was a no-go. I really tried but people just keep setting me up. It may sound like a pathetic gripe but really sometimes being set up is not the most fun thing in the world. The way I feel about being set up is that you never know if he is going to be someone that you can have fun with even if it goes nowhere and anyone who knows me knows that I am all about having fun and don't like to miss out on the good times.
Jordan, in the mean time has still been in the picture (kind of) by that I mean that he calls me every morning and sends me texts periodically throughout the day but most often I never hear from him after three of four o'clock in the afternoon cuz he goes to class and then he goes with his friends. The situation is ideal for him but you women out there know that we need so much more than a couple of convient minutes throughout the day!! Anyways last night I had a date when Jordan found out he got really mad for some reason and told me to have a nice life... Which is exactly what I intend to do!! He also told me that I will regret not dating him anymore and here is how I feel about that. For the last six months I have sat home the majority of the weekends because Jordan was out of town or had something else planned.. will I regret that?? umm no.. Also, Jordan and I argue about everything possible like the price of fuel or my PMS or what I should or shouldn't do at work etc. etc. etc.. Will I regret that I constantly am on the defense and that I can never just be right?? umm no!! Jordan has about zero patience with me. The other day I couldn't understand something he was saying so he yelled at me and when I yelled back and told him I didn't think that he was being nice he hung up on me. Only to call me back and ask me if I was ready to be nice to him yet... Will I regret being yelled at? NO will I regret that no matter what happens it is somehow my fault because Jordan is never wrong? HELL NO.. So basically the way I feel about Jordan and regretting not dating him anymore.. The only regrets I have are that I let him back into my life time and time again and that I stayed with him for as long as I did!!!
Now on to the picture of my friend Logan... As I mentioned before I have been set up a million times and honestly it is not very often that I would have the guts to request a picture before accepting to go out with someone but my sister gave my number to some girl so I didn't feel too bad asking them for a picture. Well heavens you can imagine my surprise when I get this picture knowing that this guy is 26, cute, single, owns his own business, owns his own condo, and is supposedly really nice. I would have been an idiot to say no... So I consent to go to just dinner with Logan and see if anything happens from there.. dinner happened last wednesday and things did go well so we went back to his place and played some video games which I really enjoyed. Two days later we went to dinner again and a haunted house. I usually hate haunted houses but I found myself this time just laughing and having a good time, basically the haunted house was fun because I was with Logan. Then Logan tells me that despite the fact that it hasn't been three days he would really like to go out again and even more than that he decides that he want to have me over to his place and cook me dinner!! Are you kidding me?!? So dinner goes well, we snuggle and laugh and honestly Jenga has never been so fun... The only question burning in my mind is.. If he going to all this effort why has he not kissed me? and Why does he not call me every day? I told my friends at work and they said that is a good sign but you know that it is nice to be reassured every now and again!!! So we will see what happens with Logan but I can tell you how I feel.. I feel peaceful and happy when I am with him. He has rough working man hands but yet they can be so soft and gentle and he gets nervous over certain things that I say and do and yet I think it is cute. I don't feel like I am in love or anything but I do feel like I wouldn't mind being in a situation like this with someone like this for a long time... Like forever?!? I have one more comment on my feelings... I have been so anxious and worried the last little while and haven't been sleeping well. Last night as I got home and was reading my scriptures I felt so calm and happy and peaceful. I feel like my Heavenly Father loves me and wants whats best for me. I feel him closer to me as I do the things that I know I should. I feel his spirit in my time of need and I feel safe knowing that he has and will always help me. I am not sure why I felt so peaceful last night, I hadn't really asked for anything but I feel like that is the Lord's way of letting me know that everything will be all right and to trust in Him. I feel grateful to know that gospel is true and grateful to know that he Lord really does have unconditional love for all of his children!!

3 comments:

cheeks said...

jess....it's been too long! Hmmm, i don't think you will regret this whole Jordan thing. I know it's so nice to be with someone you care so much about, but when they don't reciprocate those same feelings it's so hard (does the name tyler ring a bell?!)

So onto other things....hello logan! nice arms! i love that you asked for a picture...it's safe right?! It sounds like so far so good! I think it's awesome that he gives it a few days in between, it makes you want it more! I will be sure to check in more often to see what's goin down. We should chat in person...much better than blogging! I still have my Utah cell#. CAll me if anything happens! XOXO
--jami--

Jodi said...

I hope he doesn't have your blog address reading that would scare the S@*# out of me. But thats not too hard to do. But you should be with someone like him even if its not him. You deserve to be treated like a queen by someone who doesn't act like a 13yr old girl!

cheeks said...

hey...no post for a while...is logan still in the picture?